Easy To Love

Today is my beautiful bride's birthday.  She has been by my side for nearly twenty-six years.  Second only to the gift of salvation through Jesus, Vonda Kay is the greatest gift I have received.

She is patient and kind.  She does not envy, boast, or strut in pride.  She is not rude, self-seeking, easily angered, or one who keeps a record of wrongs.  She is loving and lovable.  I am so thankful that I "popped the question" in October of 1994.  We believe in marriage.  We are committed to one another and, as Jack and Judith Balswick wisely contend, "The core characteristic of a covenant marriage is commitment."  (p 40)

Commitment, not a feeling of love, keeps a marriage strong.  To quote the Balswicks again . . .

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We recognize that marriage is made up of two flawed spouses who must negotiate their relationship in a broken world.  Someone has made the observation, "brokenness is not the opposite of wholeness, but the means toward it."  Knowing most of us are far from the ideal moves us to humility.  While God's love is never emptied in the giving, spousal love is bound to fail and disappoint.  Our humanness keeps us ever so humble and in continuous need of God's grace and strength.  (p 45)

Like I testified above, Vonda Kay is quite a jewel and for that I am sincerely thankful.  But what if she was not so loving?  What if rudeness and pride were her MO?  That is where commitment needs to shift into high gear.  Do I love her because she is easy to love or do I love her because I promised to do so until death parts us?  Marriages should be built on the certainty of commitment, not pledges voiced with "I will as long as . . ." or "If you will . . ."

Happy Birthday, Vonda Kay!  Thank you for being so lovable.  I promise to love you no matter what.

#ordinarylives

Balswick, Jack O, and Judith K. Balswick. A Model for Marriage: Covenant, Grace, Empowerment and Intimacy. Downers Grove, Ill: IVP Academic, 2006.